waiting for little lady

Sometime between today and the end of December we'll be adding another little to our team. My children will be 16 months apart and I don't think there are any more articles for having two children under two for me to read. Jackson will get a sister and a partner and hopefully a best friend. But it leaves me to wonder what will Mr. Jeremy and I get?

A lot of articles about motherhood talk about the anxiety of having children, the stressors and the challenges. They mean well - trying to explain that you're not alone, that you'll make it through it and that there is more good then bad. But in this attempt to, "keep it real," these articles cause more stressful anticipation then anything. Some parenting articles are down right scary. The latest of them being about bumpers (but seriously get rid of yours). 

The articles I've read on having more children have caused a bit of fear for me. I fear that I won't be able to give each of my littles the attention they deserve. I fear that it will put a strain on my and Mr. Jeremy's relationship. I fear that we will be broke. I fear that I'll wear sweatpants everyday, not loose the baby weight, and never wash my hair again. 

But as the birth of our little lady comes closer and closer I have no choice but to step back and reevaluate these fears and put them in their place. 

There is nothing like a new beginning. The birth of a new child is just that, on such an enormous scale. 

Jackson's presence in my life has given me joy beyond measure. The addition of his sister will only double that joy. I will learn to nurture them individually and as a pair as their needs and wants are shown to me over time. Mr. Jeremy and I can deal with anything. Not because we're special, but because we want to and choose to. If things get tough, we will choose to work through it. To fight through it, to learn from it and to help each other. Being broke is not my thing. I refuse to accept it and I won't let it happen. This mama's a hustler. I have to choose to be kind to myself and my body but also must choose to work for it. Jcrew also has some great sweatpants if need be. 

In these last days as a team of three, I'm putting the articles away and deciding to write our own story. I am not going to try to predict what a new little will mean for us and will just be present for this new beginning. 

The countdown is on.