A One-Forth Lesson on Fear
When in an instant my friends turn their profile pictures and statues to, “prayers,” and, “peace,” and, “support.” I immediately do the following - hug my little love tight and tell him that he’s loved. He squeezes up against my very round bump and the little lady inside feels his warmth as well. I tell them they both are loved and to help spread love to others. Kiss my sweet Mr. Jeremy and tell him he’s appreciated without my usual sarcastic tone. Send a thought of thankfulness that my family is at home somewhere safe.
Then I immediately ask the following questions, usually very loudly over some news broadcast:
“What the FUCK?!"
“What’s the point?!"
“What do they want?!"
These are standard and rhetorical and lead into a mudslide of follow-up questions. Those that ask what will be left for them, how can we do better, what needs to be done now, how much food and water should I store in my basement and how quickly can I learn tae kwon do. I've known several mothers who’s questions are so loud in their heads that it literally debilitates them. Their questions don't allow them to sleep in their house alone or forces them to plan every second of their children's day. I am not immune but am learning to send those thoughts away. Those thoughts are, quite simply, just fear.
But fear is a waste of time. Fear is boring.
So back to the hugs of my littles and kisses from Mr. Jeremy and thoughts of thankfulness - I'm learning that those moments are much more important than an attack, than a post of support, than an act of fear. If I created a million more of those loved-filled moments and did nothing else, that would be enough.
If you replaced each thought, that held you paralyzed and afraid, with one loved-filled moment, what would the outcome be?
It's something I call - keep your fear, I'm good with love. (This also translates to - keep your shit, that ain't none of my business.)
The easy version: The thought comes. You acknowledge it's there. And you shift towards what you love.
The hard version: You do the above on a consistent and ongoing basis. Everyday, all the time.
This is only one-forth of this lesson. There are many more complicated parts. But it's important to start the work somewhere.